


Worthless Pride (Oikawa x Reader)

by Sparklewritesfanfiction



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Engagement, F/M, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27358021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparklewritesfanfiction/pseuds/Sparklewritesfanfiction
Summary: Oikawa and Y/n are childhood friends. They've stuck together through thick and thin. Now, Y/n's in her last year of college and Oikawa is playing for a major volleyball team. They spend less and less time with each other. Though they've both tried to find others to fill their hearts, no one feels right. Oikawa doesn't understand what is the real problem until it seems Y/n has found her person. She's engaged. Oikawa finally realizes his feelings, will he be able to get Y/n back or will it be too late?
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Comments: 12
Kudos: 92





	1. Summer July 20

It's a warm day in July. To anyone else it would seem just like any other day. But today was the first day that you'd be spending with your best friend since Christmas. He'd even had the gall to miss your birthday. (If your birthday is between December-July). Of course, you'd been busy with school and he was very busy with his games so you didn't hold it against him for too long. You were meeting at Mug Shot Cafe. It was a little cafe that used to be a dress-up shop. That's why the owners changed it into a cafe where you could dress up to get your pictures taken. When you were younger, Oikawa and you used to go there all of the time to dress up and take pictures. You had been determined to try out all of the costumes. You were seated by the window, pretty purple flowers were at your table and outside of the window. There was no one at the cafe besides the workers and an old man at the bar. It was thirty minutes past the meeting time, you weren't too worried though. Oikawa liked to show up fashionably late. 

Just as you were thinking that, the little door bell made a soft twinkling noise as he stepped in. Your heart picked up the face a little bit at the sight of him. You'd thought that after 7 months, you would've gotten over him. But ever since your second year of high school you could seem to get past the feeling of your heart pounding when you saw him. He scanned the cafe then saw you by the window, his brown hair was done perfectly as usual. As soon as you saw him, he smiled at you, his eyes closing as he ran over to you. You barely had time to stand up before he had you in a big bear hug. You were shocked for a moment, before wrapping your arms around his middle. "Well hello to you too." 

"I missed you so so much N/n-chan!" He said into your hair. 

"You dork. You didn't even make it for my birthday." You said teasingly. 

He pulled away from the hug, his hands still on your shoulders "N/n....I'm sorry you know I had a game that day!" 

You laughed, "I know. Don't worry." You gestured to the table where there was a little bag on the desk on his side. 

"Ooh! What did you get me?" He asked, moving away and sitting across from you. 

You smiled, "Close your eyes." 

He happily obliged and you opened the bag. It was another one of those games you'd been playing since you were little. Whoever got there first would order something for the other person. They'd close their eyes and the person who'd ordered it would feed it to them. Then the person would have to guess what it was. Today you'd gotten him cinnamon milk bread as a treat. His mouth was open and you blushed the tiniest bit as you got a piece out and fed it to him. As soon as he felt it on his tongue, he knew what it was. You snatched your hand back before he could bite it off. He chewed happily and then swallowed, "Cinnamon milk bread!" 

"Yup!" You said with a giggle and he opened his pretty brown eyes. 

"You're the best N/n-chan! You always know." He said, taking the bag and eating another piece. 

"I know." You said as you sipped your tea (or coffee if you prefer). You looked out of the window as you thought about what you were going to ask next, "So..." You looked back over with a smirk, "Still single LoserKawa?" 

His mouth opened a little, "Hey~ N/n-chan so mean. You sound like Iwa-chan." 

You laughed, "I'll take that as a yes." 

He pouted, "Well I don't have time for stuff like that. I'm busy with volleyball." 

Your heart dropped a little. You loved that he was so passionate about volleyball, but sometimes you felt like it took him out of the real world. Like he relied too much on it almost. 

Oikawa poked your cheek, "What about you N/n-chan? Did you find anybody yet?" 

You glared at him, slapping his hand away. "Of course not. I've been busy with school." 

He laughed, "You know N/n-chan, if you're planning to ever get in a relationship now's the time. You don't have much time left until you turn into an old hag." He said, making his finger wriggle as he teased you. 

"Same goes to you StupidKawa. We're the same age y'know!" 

He laughed and sat back, "Yeah but with my good looks there's no way I'll just shrivel up and wither into a raisin." 

"And I will?" You challenged, your eyebrows raised. 

Oikawa froze as he realized his mistake. "Oh no, of course not N/n-chan! You'll always look like a beautiful blooming soulmate butterfly flower." 

You laughed and shook your head. Soulmate butterfly flowers. Oikawa had never actually gotten one, but he insisted they were his favorite. Only because they had been yours in high school. Back when you were always dreaming about soulmates and cheesy crap. "Come on loser, let's go dress-up." You said with a smile, pointing at the costumes. 

His smile widened and he followed you over. You took multiple pictures in a variety of matching costumes. By the time you'd gotten done and they gave you your photos, it was sunset and the shop was closing. You pulled up your bag and opened it, pulling out a little pink package. "Happy birthday." You said as you walked, handing it to him. 

"Oho, for me?" He asked, smiling. "To be honest I thought you forgot it was my birthday." 

"How does that make any sense?" You asked. "I asked you over here because it was your birthday." 

"I thought you just chose a random day you were free." He said, scratching the back of his head nervously. 

"Nope, now take the gift." You said, forcing it into his hands. 

He smiled and opened up the little bag. You were blushing slightly and looking down at your feet as you walked rather than over at Oikawa opening the gift. He gasped when he pulled it out, stopping at the cross walk. You looked over and he was holding the gold crown. It obviously wasn't real gold, but it was the symbolism that mattered. "N/n-chan..." You blushed, pulling your gaze away from him. He put it on his head, "Is this because I'm royally handsome?" 

You looked over and the crown was fit perfectly on his head. "Something like that Great King." You said, flicking the crown which hurt your finger a bit, but tipped it sideways. 

"Hey~" He said, but left it sideways. "Do I look good in it?" He asked, the light for the crosswalk turned green and you started walking across. 

"Oikawa you always look good." He danced around you. 

"I know~ I just wanted to hear my sweet N/n-chan say it." He said and you elbowed him in the side and kept walking as he doubled over dramatically. 

"You are such a dork Oikawa." You said, smiling as he jogged to catch up to you. 

"You're so mean N/n-chan. Even on my birthday." He said with a pout. 

"And you're actually so dense." You said. 

"Anyways, can we go over to your place and watch some movies?" He asked with a smile. 

"That's the plan, I already have some of those cheesy romance movies that you like so much picked out." You said and he smiled. 

"Yay! You're the best N/n-chan!" He cheered.


	2. Jealousy In Autumn

You couldn't believe it. You'd found your person. After so much searching, and he'd been at your college all this time. You'd found him around 4 months ago, and since then you'd been inseparable. His name was Shohei, and he was your guy. He was reliable, kind and respectful. Today you were taking him to your parents' house for a November feast. This would be the first time your parents met him and you were very excited for what they'll think. Although they were a bit slow to warm at first, you knew that they'd love him. You were walking with him, both of you dressed nicely. Your arm was wrapped around his and you smiled at him as you waited for your parents to open the door. He looked down at you, he was quite tall, even a couple inches taller than Oikawa. 

"Don't worry, they're going to love you." You said to him. He nodded in response and your brother opened the door. 

"Hey Y/n!" He said and hugged you. 

"Hi B/n." You said, hugging him back. 

He led you into the house and Shohei followed. You introduced him to everyone, which included your parents, your brother and sister as well as your two cousins and your aunt and uncle. Dinner was going pretty well, your parents were at least acting polite as they usually did. It was after the dinner that they'd bombard you with questions and relay all of their concerns. But you were absolutely positive about Shohei. Your intuition revealed no red flags, and your relationship was a wonderful one filled with nothing but respect. About half way through, it sounded like there was someone trying to get in. There was the clink of keys and you looked over at your brother who shrugged. You looked around at the rest of your family, "Did any of you guys invite anyone else?" They all shook their heads and as you were about to get up and check the door, a familiar voice sounded. 

"N/n-chan! Are you in here? I called you like 8 times and you didn't pick-" Oikawa came around and saw you seated next to Shohei with the rest of your family. "Oh! I had no idea you guys were having a family dinner. I'm so sorry to intrude." He said, but his eyes were glued to Shohei. 

"Tooru-kun, no worries. Come in come in." Your mother coaxed, getting up immediately and pulling him up a chair beside your brother. 

"Is this another brother Y/n?" Shohei asked. 

You barely glanced at him, "Oh uh...no. This...this is- Oikawa what are you doing here?" 

"Sorry for coming on such short notice Y/n." He said, throwing out your first name, he rarely ever called you that. In fact he'd only done that a couple of times as long as you'd known him. But he threw it out so casually. "In any case, who's your guest? Is he some long lost cousin or something?" He asked with a passive aggressive smile. He probably knew damn well what Shohei was to you at one glance. He was making you tell him. Although it was partially your fault for not telling him in the first place that you had a boyfriend now, you didn't see how it was any of his business. Nor did you see why he was so butt hurt about it. 

You shook your head, snapping out of the initial shock of having him here. Your head was a bit fuzzy, but you didn't let it faze you. "No. No. I can assure you he's not." You smiled softly at Shohei. "This is Kobayashi Shohei." 

Oikawa reached across the table to shake his hand. "Nice to meet you Kobayashi. I'm Oikawa Tooru." He smiled at your mother, "Thank you so much for letting me stay at such short notice Mrs. L/n." 

Your mother smiled warmly at him, "Please Tooru, you know you're always welcome. And call me M/n for star's sake." Your mother hadn't always liked Oikawa so much. But after so many years of him coming over and constantly staying at your house and hanging out with you, she'd grown to love him. She actually had quite the soft spot for him, especially after he'd made homemade cinnamon milk bread for her a couple of years ago in high school. 

"You know I couldn't do that Mrs. L/n-san. I am a man of respect." He turned his attention casually back to Shohei and you. "So, Kobayashi. If you aren't a long lost cousin what are you? Adopted brother? No...don't tell me." He looked over at your little sister. "S/n...is this your boyfriend." 

Your sister scoffed and laughed, she was a first year in college this year. "As if. Y/n brought him, you should ask her." 

"Oh did she?" His eyes finally met yours and you could see the hurt in them. You could feel his underlying resentment. 

"Yes. Oikawa." You cleared your throat and looked awkwardly at Shohei. "Kobayashi-kun is my boyfriend actually." 

"Oh! Forgive my rudeness Kobayashi- _ **kun**_ " He emphasized part of his name, as though trying to press that you had just called him by his last name. 

You felt yourself getting angry. What was Oikawa trying to do by making you so uncomfortable? What could he gain through this? This couldn't just be because he was mad you hadn't told him could it? You knew he was petty, but usually he couldn't stay too angry with you. "Uhm, Oikawa can I talk to you for a second?" 

"Of course, what's up N/n-chan?" He asked, his face fake innocent as he tilted his head. 

You grit your teeth, "Alone Oikawa." You were already standing up and crossing the room to grab Oikawa's upper arm. "Shohei this will only be a minute, why don't you get to know everyone better." You said with a smile, pulling Oikawa away into the living room. 

Once you were out of earshot from everyone, you released him. "What is wrong with you?" 

He slid his hands into his sweatshirt pocket, "I don't know what you mean L/n." He said coldly. 

You opened your mouth and scoffed, crossing your arms, "Seriously Oikawa? You just waltz in here acting all cool and make a fool out of me. You knew damn well Shohei isn't a long lost relative or S/n's boyfriend." 

"Well how was I supposed to know? You didn't tell me." So you were right, he was just being petty about you not telling him. 

You sighed, "I'm sorry. I should've told you Oikawa." 

"Then why didn't you?" He pressed, his eyes still looked strangely pained. 

"What?" 

"Why didn't you just shoot me a text? Easy as that!" He asked. 

"Why? I just- I didn't know how." You said. 

"What do you mean you didn't know how? I'm your best friend Y/n. I thought you would've told me." Using your first name twice in one night. 

"It's because I didn't want things to turn out like this!" You said, raising your voice now as you ran your hands through your hair. 

"What? Like this? I wouldn't have reacted like this if you'd told me!" He said, raising his voice with you. 

"Oikawa you're such a drama queen! I can't with you." You said. 

"Please L/n. If anyone's a drama queen it's you. You know you'd be reacting way worse if you found out I had a sudden girlfriend out of no where." 

"That is not even close to true and you know it Oikawa. You've had so many girlfriends and I supported you through every single one. Even when they were no good for you and you insisted on being with them. I was always happy for you. So why can't you just be happy for me for once?" You asked, your head was pounding and your eyes stung but you couldn't cry. Not now. Not with him and not in front of Shohei and your family. 

"You want me to be happy L/n, well maybe you should've given me a heads up before I drive a straight 3 hours to your family's house just because you weren't picking up my calls." He said. 

That was true, but you were too blinded with rage at him for showing sudden interest in your love life after everything. "Yeah? Well I wish you hadn't." 

"Then just pretend I was never here." He said, walking away. 

"Fine." 

"Fine." He shut the door, not slamming it. 

You were stunned, you hadn't fought with Oikawa since high school. At least not seriously. But even when you did, even when it got as bad as this, you'd make up in a day. Choosing to push Oikawa out of your mind, you pulled yourself together and headed back to dinner.  
~~~

Oikawa rested his back on the door and looked up. His eyes were burning and his head was spinning. For some reason he'd been so looking forward to seeing you. The moment he'd seen that Kobayashi character, his heart had dropped. He didn't know what it was that had made him so cold with icy hatred. It was something about that guy's serious presence. Something about seeing his hand on your knee that felt so wrong to him. He'd only felt this a couple of times. Like the time that guy had kissed you in high school. Or the first time you and Iwaizumi had met and spent the whole day together. Most of the time he felt this horrible heart clenching feeling seemed to be around you. For some reason he just couldn't place it. It couldn't be jealousy. Oikawa didn't get jealousy. Not even over his past girlfriends. Then again, if you've never felt jealousy...would you be able to identify it?


	3. Self Reflection

You slept at your parents house that night, Shohei had gone home back to his house. You felt absolutely awful when you woke up the next day. You'd hardly gotten any sleep thinking about Oikawa and what he'd said the other day. You'd think he'd be happy for you for finally getting into a serious relationship. You'd had a couple flings, but none of them lasted. If only because every time that you'd tried to seriously date someone you'd end up comparing them to Oikawa. Would Oikawa do this? I don't think Oikawa would like that. Etc. The minute you'd gotten yourself some early morning tea, you picked up your phone checking for texts from him. Of course, there was none. You sighed, not wanting to be the one to text first. You thought for another moment and then decided that if you did have to text him first, you'd do it at midday. 

Oikawa called Iwaizumi for breakfast the next morning. Iwaizumi could hear the misery in Oikawa's voice and had agreed to meet him, even on such short notice. They met at Iwaizumi's favorite breakfast place. Oikawa arrived early. That was a second sign that he wasn't okay. Iwaizumi came over and sat in a booth across from him. "Dude. What's wrong? Could you not find L/n last night?" 

"Oh I found her." He said, stirring his coffee in a depressed way. He hadn't looked up since Iwaizumi had came in. 

"Dude." Oikawa still refused to look up. "Dude, hello!" he waved his hand in front of Oikawa's face, "You can't call me here and then not even talk." 

He sighed, "Sorry Iwa-chan..." 

"Did something happen with L/n-san?" Iwaizumi asked. Oikawa continued stirring his coffee, even though it clearly didn't need much more stirring. 

Oikawa sighed again and Iwaizumi snatched the spoon out of his hand causing him to look up, "Iwa..." 

"What happened LoserKawa?" He asked, "Spill." 

"She has a boyfriend." Oikawa said with a pout. 

Iwaizumi laughed, "Oho. Good for her. Is he nice? Or is he a jerk?" 

"Oh no. He seemed just perfect." Oikawa said spitefully. 

Iwaizumi raised his eyebrows, "You don't sound very fond of this guy." 

Oikawa puffed out a breath, "What does she even see in him? He's probably not even going to treat her good." 

"What makes you say that?" Iwaizumi asked, setting Oikawa's spoon on the table between them. 

"It's just..." He couldn't help it, he blurted out, "I would treat her better!" 

Iwaizumi tilted his head, "Oh?"

"Iwa-chan don't look at me like that~" Oikawa whined. 

Iwaizumi was looking at him with an amused expression, "Does that mean you finally realized it?" 

Oikawa looked at him confused, "What?" 

"Never mind, just go on. You were saying, about L/n's boyfriend." 

"Yeah..." Oikawa sighed sadly. "She just..." He frowned deeply, "She just seemed so happy and at peace before I came in...her face was relaxed with him. Has she ever looked at me that way?" He felt his heart do a loop, "Why do I even care? Have I ever thought about L/n like this? What is she...what is she doing to me?" 

Iwaizumi was a bit frustrated. For years he'd watched you and Oikawa laugh and joke and act all coupley all of the time. You looked at him and only him for years. And yet he never realized that all he ever talked about when you weren't there was you? Iwaizumi thought Oikawa was being rather selfish for suddenly getting all jealous when you had finally found happiness outside of him. But nonetheless, Oikawa needed him, so he couldn't scold him just yet. "Calm down Oikawa. This is all so sudden. Just think....when did you start thinking about L/n this way?" 

"What way?" 

_**God this guy is even more stupid than I thought.** _"Oh we're not there yet. Okay." Iwaizumi said in a slightly teasing voice.

"Iwa-chan stop teasing me I'm serious." Oikawa pouted, deep in thought, he looked down at his now lukewarm coffee. "What does N/n-chan even see in that guy?" 

"Well I don't know is he handsome?" Iwaizumi asked, unsure what to say now. 

"Not as handsome as me." 

"Is he nice?" 

"Well I don't know I didn't talk to him." 

"Shit Oikawa you didn't even talk to him and you're already judging him. Maybe if you got to know the guy you'd like him better." Oikawa did not look happy at that statement. Iwaizumi sighed, "Besides, it's not like they're getting married or anything. How long have they even been together?" 

"Long enough for him to be meeting her family." Oikawa suddenly got a devious smile, "Mrs. L/n still likes me better though." 

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, "Have you texted L/n yet? Seen if she's okay? If you guys got into a huge fight I'm sure she's not." 

Oikawa's eyes widened, "N/n-chan! I forgot to call her this morning I was in such a bad mood." He smacked his forehead, which startled Iwaizumi. Usually Oikawa would wait for you to text or call him first. "Hold on Iwa-chan I have to check on her. What if I hurt her feelings last night and she hates me?" Oikawa was insecure, but he usually wanted you to be the one to apologize and then he would. Was Oikawa becoming more self aware? All of these thoughts bombarded Iwaizumi at once. He stared at his friend as he took out his phone and dialed your number. When you picked up, he answered with a worried expression. Iwaizumi softened a bit, maybe this whole thing would change Oikawa for the better. Then you and him might actually stand a chance. After all Iwaizumi had been the one watching throughout high school, keeping tabs on both of you. He knew about your crush on Oikawa, and he knew that secretly, Oikawa liked you too. Maybe he'd finally realize that himself.   
~~~

The minute you heard your phone go off you checked to see who it was. When you saw it was Oikawa, you stiffened. You wondered if you should answer or not. Then again...he did call you first. You picked up and before you could greet him you heard his worried voice on the other end. 

"N/n-chan I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you if I did I-" he paused for a minute, "I just want to look after you is all. I promise I'll support you if that's what you want." 

You were silent for a moment, you never thought you'd hear that out of Oikawa. But you just did...maybe your words last night had really gotten to him, "Oikawa?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Are you with Iwaizumi right now?" You asked, hoping he couldn't hear the surprise in your voice. 

"Huh? Oh yeah, Iwa-chan is right here." He said. 

"Oh. I see. Well I'm doing okay. Thank you for apologizing Oikawa." You said. 

"I really am sorry L/n." There was a moment of silence. "Hey N/n-chan, if we're all good now do you wanna stop by the Mug Shot Cafe?" 

Your heart felt like something was weighing it down, but you knew that if you wanted to focus on your relationship with Shohei, you'd have to let Oikawa go. At least this time, of course you'd never let him go as a best friend. That's all he ever wanted from you anyways. "I already have plans today. Plus you're with Iwaizumi, you shouldn't just ditch him to hang out with me. Oh and Oikawa?" 

"Yeah?" He asked, a little quieter than before. 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Shohei. You should've been the first one I told and I promise any news from now on goes straight to you." You said. 

"Okay." He said. "I gotta go N/n-chan. Have a good day." Before you could even say bye, he'd hung up. You just assumed Iwaizumi had snatched the phone from him and made him sit down so you shrugged and went to get ready for the day.   
~~~~

"Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked and immediately Iwaizumi knew he was planning something. 

"Yes...?" He asked cautiously. 

Oikawa looked up, right into Iwaizumi's eyes, "We should break up L/n and her boyfriend."


	4. The Never-ending Depression Stage

Iwaizumi hadn't wanted to go along with Oikawa's shenanigans, but if he didn't stop him then who would. And to be honest, Iwaizumi had been trying to get Oikawa and you together since high school. So he pretended to just go along with it. Oikawa had tried multiple things that should've caused an argument between you and Shohei. He'd forgotten one key detail, you were a pretty patient person. (Especially considering you'd had a crush on him for nearly 8 years but he doesn't know that). And as if that wasn't enough, Shohei was also a very calm man. Even when you were acting crazy, Shohei could find a way to calm you down. That just pissed Oikawa off. Probably because it proved to him that Shohei could be better for you. 

Iwaizumi had been counting and Oikawa was now in the fourth stage of grief; depression. Currently he was laying across Iwaizumi's couch with a bowl of your favorite chips, watching The Notebook. Iwaizumi popped open a soda and handed it to Oikawa, who took it slowly. "Thanks Iwa." He said sadly. 

"At least you're almost to the acceptance stage." Iwaizumi mumbled. 

"Hmm?" Oikawa asked, looking back at him. 

Iwaizumi waved his hand, "Nothing." That was when he got a text from you. 

L/n-san: Hey Iwaizumi....I have some really big news. Could you and Oikawa meet me for dinner tonight?

Iwaizumi looked over at Oikawa, trying to decide if he should just tell you that he was sick. He decided that maybe he should ask Oikawa, "Hey are you up for meeting L/n tonight? She said she has something to tell us." 

Oikawa sat up far too quickly, causing his head to spin and his vision to go blurry but he didn't even care. "N/n-chan! She has something to tell us?" He sprung up, "I have to go get dressed." He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the television screen, "And my hair! How long has it been like this?!" 

Iwaizumi laughed, "Go get ready." He texted you that he and Oikawa would be ready to meet you at 7.  
~~~

You arrived at the restaurant first. It was a very nice restaurant, You twisted your hands nervously as you waiting for Iwaizumi and Oikawa. Of course, you weren't nevous about Iwaizumi, he was level-headed enough. Oikawa on the other hand...you had no idea how he'd react. He had been so strange lately, you had no idea what he was going to do next. Last month you'd went to Rome with Shohei, this would be the first time since then that you saw Iwaizumi and Oikawa. You'd arrived early, but you started getting nervous when it was 45 minutes past the meeting time. Iwaizumi was very punctual usually. Your anxiety was piling up and as you were about to call Iwaizumi for the third time, they came through the door. Both of them were dressed nicely and Oikawa's hair looked even better than usual if that was possible. Iwaizumi pointed at your table and Oikawa's eyes met yours. You could literally see his eyes sparkle in the lighting of the restaurant and he tripped over his feet as he started moving towards you. 

You stood up and he started running towards you, tripping over chairs and apologizing to the people he nearly ran over. When he finally reached you, he engulfed you in his famous hug. "Be careful you clutz." You whispered to him with a wide smile. In his arms, you felt like you could easily tell him anything. All of your anxiety melted away. 

"I missed you N/n-chan." He said in a quiet voice. 

"I missed you too." You said with a small smile. 

"Alright break it up lo-" Iwaizumi paused, he was about to say what he always did in order to tease you but he realized it wasn't appropriate now that you were in a serious relationship. 

Oikawa released you anyways, he was smiling happily and you were glad that you'd chosen this day to tell them. If he was in such a good mood, nothing could ruin it. You hugged Iwaizumi quickly then you sat around the table. After you ordered your food Iwaizumi asked what the news was. 

"Well, it's really big and it's something that happened while I was in Rome..." You said, you fiddled with your hands nervous again. Iwaizumi nodded encouragingly and you took a shaky breath, "It's well...it's haha." You ran your hand through your hair and Oikawa took one of your hands and squeezed it comfortingly. 

"You can tell us N/n-chan." He said, looking into your eyes encouragingly. 

You breathed and smiled, "Thanks Oikawa. I knew I could rely on you. I wanted to tell you guys first actually." You held up your left hand, the one Oikawa wasn't holding and flashed a very shiny diamond ring. 

Iwaizumi, who was sitting across from you smiled enthusiastically. "L/n! Is that...you're engaged?" 

You nodded, "Yes! Shohei proposed!" You squealed, Iwaizumi reached for your hand and you let him examine your ring. Once a little bit of the excitement died out, you looked over at Oikawa who had been completely silent. "Oikawa..." You glanced at Iwaizumi for clues, "Say something." 

Oikawa glanced up at you and the waiter placed your food before you. Iwaizumi was glaring at Oikawa. Oikawa looked up at you for a split second, "Congrats." He said with a small fake smile and you immediately knew something was up. 

"Oikawa...what's wrong?" You asked, still glancing between him and Iwaizumi. When he didn't answer, you tried for a joke, "Jealous?" You asked, wriggling the ring in front of his face. 

He looked up at you with one hell of a fake smile. It would've fooled anyone...anyone but his two best friends. "I'd never be jealous come on!" He said with a laugh, "Seriously I'm happy for you L/n. I hope you're happy." 

"I...I can't be happy if you aren't happy too Oikawa come on. Tell me what's wrong." You pushed, poking his arm. 

He shook his head with a sad smile, "I'm just not feeling too good." He said, "I shouldn't have eaten all of those little bread appetizer things." He lied, although it was true that he'd eaten literally all the bread. 

"Oh okay..." You said, still confused. 

"I think I just need to head out early. I'll talk to you tomorrow L/n, have a nice dinner." He said and got up to leave. 

"Oikawa!" You called, but he was already leaving the restaurant. 

You looked over at Iwaizumi for answers but he just shrugged, "He was feeling a bit sick before we came anyways." 

You looked back at the door, "He didn't seem like it..."


	5. The Bride's Best Man

Oikawa wasn't answering any of your texts and you were seriously worried about him. He had left dinner yesterday so suddenly you hadn't gotten the chance to ask him your other question. When Shohei got home from work that evening, he saw you asleep on the couch, your face pressed to your phone. He smiled softly as he gently picked you up, you were so tired you didn't even wake up until the next morning. And even when you woke up, the first thing you did was check your texts for Oikawa. No reply. But 5 missed calls from Iwaizumi. You dialed his number but hung up when you realized it was 6 a.m. and he wouldn't be up. You walked to the kitchen like a zombie and got yourself some tea. Shohei woke up ten minutes later. 

"Baby, why are you up so early?" He asked, making himself some tea as well. 

You sighed, "I don't know." 

"Is that friend of yours giving you trouble?" He asked and you leaned on the counter. 

"Yeah...I just don't understand him. I mean I did...I thought I did." You sighed again, "I just don't know anymore. He's acting so strange." 

"Did you ever consider that maybe he has feelings for you?" Shohei asked gently. 

"What?" Your eyes widened as you turned to him and you laughed, "No way. Oikawa would never. And even if he did he missed his chance the moment I met you." You said, kissing his cheek and not giving it another thought. "I'm going to get ready and head over to Iwaizumi's house. I forgot to ask Oikawa something the other day." 

"Okay..." Shohei said, still looking unsure. 

You smiled, "Trust me, Oikawa has no feelings for me and he never has."  
~~~

"I have to get her back." Oikawa was telling Iwaizumi. 

Iwaizumi sighed, "Oikawa what do you mean by get her back?" 

Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi like he was stupid, "Are you serious Iwa-chan?! If she marries him, she'll never hang out with us anymore and we won't be best friends."

Iwaizumi massaged his temple, "Oikawa, don't you think you're being a little dramatic. L/n-san will always be your friend." 

"But we won't be as close and-"

"Shit Oikawa do you still not get it?" Iwaizumi asked, gripping his friends shoulders. "You're in love with L/n-san." 

Oikawa's eyes widened. It had been almost a year since you started dating Shohei, in all of this time Oikawa had never let himself think about his feelings for you. But as Iwaizumi shouted it to him he realized how right the words sounded. "You're right." 

"Of course I am! Are you really just realizing this? You're even more dense than I thougth ShittyKawa." Iwaizumi said. 

Oikawa looked him dead in the eyes, "So will you help me?"

Iwaizumi eyed him, "Oikawa..." 

"Iwa-chan how long have you known?" 

"Since I met the two of you. The feelings weren't always there...but it was obvious to everyone that they would come. Last year of high school was when I really noticed it in you though." Iwaizumi told him. 

"And how long has she known this guy?" Oikawa asked, Iwaizumi hated the logic he was using. 

"Oikawa she's happy. Isn't that all that should matter?" 

"She said the other day that she wouldn't be happy unless I was happy." Oikawa argued. 

"That's pretty selfish of you ShittyKawa." 

"I know." Oikawa looked down at his coffee. "But I have to try." 

That was when you knocked on the door. "I'll get it." Iwaizumi said and headed to the front door, thinking it was a mail man. His eyes widened a bit when he saw you looking distraught. 

"Iwaizumi...is Oikawa here?" You asked, twisting the ring on your finger. 

Iwaizumi looked back at him as he set down his coffee. "Yeah...come in." 

You walked in and saw Oikawa, you froze at the door for some reason. You could almost hear the tension in the air. "Oikawa..." 

Oikawa's face split into a grin, "N/n-chan! I'm feeling much better!" He said and started walking to you. Iwaizumi was studying the two of you. 

"Oh! That's good to hear." You said, breathing a sigh of relief. "To be honest I was a little worried when you just left last night." 

"Worried for what?" he asked, standing in front of you. 

You slapped his arm, "You of course! I didn't know why you really left, but seeing you now I guess you really did just eat too much bread." 

"Thanks for worrying for me L/n." 

"I'm your best friend Oikawa it's my job." You said with a smile. "Speaking of best friends I have something to ask you." 

He put his hands behind his back, "Shoot!" 

"Will you..." You paused to take out a little blue card, "Be my best man?" 

He took the card and red it over quickly, "Best man? But isn't that for the groom?" He asked. 

"Screw gender roles. You're my best friend! Plus we promised each other in 6th grade didn't we?" You asked mischievously. 

You swore you could see an idea forming behind his eyes as he looked up at you and hugged you tightly. "Of course I'll be your best man! To be honest I'd be very upset if you chose anyone other than me." 

You laughed, hugging him back, "Good to hear." 

Iwaizumi looked at the both of you and he could see the gears in Oikawa's mind working. As soon as you left he asked, "What's up?" In a serious tone. 

Oikawa smiled and waved the card, "This is the perfect opportunity. I'm a voice in her ear. If I can convince her this is a bad idea while the wedding is still being planned, it'll be perfect." 

"Oikawa." Iwaizumi warned. 

"Trust me Iwa-chan. She'll realize she's making the wrong choice."


	6. The Color Of Us

Oikawa had been surprisingly very helpful since you'd asked him to be your best friend a month ago. He had taken charge of all the planning that you'd expected to do on your own or with Shohei. At first, you were hesitant to letting him help so much with everything, but you knew how he was. He let you in on all the details and did everything with you. You were lucky to have such a supportive best friend. Today, the both of you were busy planning your bridal shower next week. The wedding was to be held in 5 months. Currently, you were heading to the Mug Shot Cafe to meet with him. 

When you got in, you were surprised to find Oikawa already sitting at a table by the window. There was a little bag at the seat across from him and he was writing things down on a clip board. He looked up when the bell twinkled and waved enthusiastically at you. "Hey, look who's early." You said, sliding into the seat. 

"Yup!" He said, "I'll always be punctual if it's for you." 

Once upon a time, you might've been flustered by that. But now, you thought nothing of it as you chuckled, "That's unlikely." 

Oikawa grinned, ignoring your statement. "Close your eyes." He said, collecting the bag and pulling out whatever he had ordered for you. 

You complied and opened your mouth. He fed it to you and you smiled at the delicious taste of your favorite cafe smile. You easily guessed it, then opened your eyes. "You almost never get my favorite. What's the occasion?" 

"Just a special treat for the lady of the day." He said with a smile. "Now, we have lots to go over. Don't worry, I'll book a place for the shower, I just want to know what you'd generally want it to look like. So..." He handed you the clipboard. "I made check boxes with all the information I'll need from you in order to plan the perfect bridal shower!" 

Your mouth dropped open. Oikawa was a perfectionist, but when you'd asked him you'd honestly only expected him to pick out a suit for the wedding and look pretty. As you were filling out the check list you were suddenly overwhelmed with gratefulness and a twinge of longing. You wished Oikawa had been this way in high school, he was making up for all of the times that you were the one who was there for him. No. He was like this. He was there when you needed him. And although you would have preferred him to be attentive all the time, he didn't need to be. You recalled junior high, Oikawa always made sure to let everyone know that you were his friend. He always made you feel so special. In your first year of high-school, you went to every one of his games. But he also went to all of your acadec competitions, he probably didn't know half of the things you were saying when you were in those. But he still went and cheered you on. You remember one time when you answered a question right, Oikawa had hopped up and started cheering loudly, scaring the other people watching. It was embarrassing at the time, but looking back on it you thought it was rather nice. In second year, your boyfriend had dumped you right before the school dance, Oikawa had volleyball practice but he called it off so he could take you to the dance. In fact, he'd canceled a couple practices for you. You hadn't been paying much attention, but looking back on it. 

You looked up at Oikawa who was on the phone with the flower shop. You were starting to tear up, maybe in another life you would've ended up with him. But you were happy with Shohei and you were lucky to have him as just a best friend. Although it still hurt your heart sometimes and although there would always be the thought of 'what if'....there was no chance now. Oikawa looked over and saw tears rimming your eyes, he hung up with the shop immediately. 

"Hey hey, what's wrong?" He asked, slipping the phone into his pocket. He reached across the small table and put his hands on either cheek, using his thumbs to wipe away your tears that started falling when he asked. His hands were warm. 

"Nothing." You sighed with a smile. "I'm just so happy." You said, trying to stop crying. 

"What? Then why are you crying?" He asked, getting up and moving to your side so he could hug you. You stood up and buried your face in his chest. 

"Because. You're just the best." You laughed, "I'm so happy you're my best friend. And everything is just going so well. Especially with your planning. I don't know if I could have done it all myself. I was honestly so scared I would end up doing it all on my own. But you always come at the right time." He smiled a sad smile that you couldn't see since you weren't looking up at him. "I hope it's always like this." 

You pulled out of the hug and he wiped your tears with his thumbs. "How is it your beautiful even when you're crying?" He asked and you smiled at him with a laugh. 

"I got your shirt all wet." You said, laughing as you touched his chest were your face was. 

"It's fine, I'll change later."   
xxx

At the bridal shower, you invited some of your girlfriends from high school and your mom and sister. Shohei's sister and mom came too, she was only a year younger than you. But as much as you tried to, you just couldn't get to be friends with her. "Wow Y/n. This shower is amazing!" Shohei's mom said. 

"Thank you." You said with a smile. You were about to explain that you couldn't have done it without Oikawa when Shohei's sister, Satsuki came up and interrupted. 

"Yeah it's great. There's no way you could've planned all this yourself. Go ahead, tell us your party planner." 

You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from being to harsh with her, "As I was going to say, my best man helped me plan this." 

"Best man? What do you mean? Aren't you supposed to have a maid of honor?" Satsuki asked in a biting tone. 

You smiled, your teeth grinding a bit, "Yes. But he's my best friend and the only one I could've asked for this job." You turned and pointed out Oikawa who was talking to the caterer. 

"Oh he's cute. Is he gay? He looks gay. He has to be gay. There's no other way that he could be good looking and great at planning and not be gay." She said. 

You laughed, "No. I'm pretty sure he's not gay. But-" 

"Really? I'm gonna go talk to him!" She said without letting you finish she started skipping over there. 

"I'm so sorry about her. She's just a little bit....excited for her brother." Shohei's mom told you. 

You nodded, "It's fine. Oikawa will love the attention anyways." 

After the party, you were going to stay to help clean up. You hadn't gotten the chance to talk one on one with Oikawa all day. Every time you tried, he'd tell you to get back to the party and talk to the girls you'd invited. Either that or Satsuki would interrupt and drag Oikawa away. You caught him cleaning up as everyone left. 

"Hey!" You called out and he turned from where he was taking off a table cloth. 

"Hey! N/n-chan! How'd you like the shower?" He asked, "It was pretty awesome right." 

"Yeah it was great but-" 

"Oh no." He said upon hearing the 'but', "Was it the food? I knew I should've just called for something fancy. I just figured you'd want something easy and-" 

"No! Oikawa it was perfect!" You said and he tilted his head. 

"Oh? Well good to hear." He said with a smile, turning back around and taking off the cloth. 

"Oikawa?" You asked again. 

"Hm? Oh you don't have to stay. I'll take care of all the cleaning." He told you with a kind smile. 

"No! Please let me help. You've done so much already." You said, walking over to another table. 

"Well if you insist." He said with a smile. 

"Hey I wanted to-" 

"Wait! This is a good song." He said, walking over to the radio that was playing music and turning it up.

You recognized the song immediately, you'd known it as yours and Oikawa's song in high school. Every time it played you both sang along and danced when you could. Oikawa would play it for you whenever you had a bad day. It was called OK by Wallows. You smiled as Oikawa started dancing like a dork. He did a rope and pretended to rope you in. 

"Oikawa..." You started. 

"Come on L/n! It's our song!" He said and you sighed and walked over to him. As soon as you were within reach, Oikawa grabbed your hand and twirled you into a dip. 

"Woah!" You said and he smiled. You danced through the song and into the next until the sun was setting. Someone else picked up the venue the next day.


	7. Glass Half Empty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/n: This chapter is a little bit of a filler since I'm on vacation right now. But I hope you like it.

_**When did I start seeing the world this way? I didn't even notice because I felt like you were always with me. But I guess....I realized when I walked in that day that I wasn't always with you. It hurt that you weren't thinking about me at all that day. I see the world in two ways now. Days I'm with you and days I'm not. When I'm with you, everything sparkles. I feel like a better version of myself. All of my worries are suddenly gone. Days I'm not with you....the sky tastes like ash. I feel like listening to sad songs and staying in bed. I don't feel like doing anything. I'm not at my best when I'm not with you. Sometimes I see you with him...you look happy. Your smile makes me smile. Even if you aren't smiling at me. Should I just let you be? Maybe Iwa-chan is right. Maybe I'm selfish to want you all to myself. Do you smile at me like that? Was there a time in your life when I was your everything? I don't know...I guess I should've paid more attention.** _

"She's so beautiful when she smiles." Oikawa said for the millionth time as he went through your Instagram page. He laughed, "Look at this one. I remember that." 

Iwaizumi watched his best friend with concern. Oikawa had been repeating this pattern for a while now. Coming home after planning, going through Instagram for hours, then listening to sad music as he fell asleep. Iwaizumi knew, because he'd check the song on Oikawa's phone. Just as Iwaizumi was going to get Oikawa up and doing something, he looked up and made eye contact with him. 

"She's happy right?" He asked. 

"What?" Iwaizumi asked, surprised. 

"When N/n-chan's with Kobayashi-san? She seems happy. Is she happy?" Oikawa asked, looking between Iwaizumi's eyes. 

"Well yeah. I don't think she'd be engaged to him if she wasn't happy." Iwaizumi told him matter of factly. 

"Yeah." Oikawa looked up at the ceiling. "I don't think I will break them up anymore Iwa-chan. That won't make her happy." He smiled up at the ceiling, "I just want her to smile." 

Iwaizumi was silent for a moment. "No." 

"What?" Oikawa looked over at him. 

"You don't get to do this. This isn't you. Oikawa....what's gotten into you?" 

"Iwa-chan what do you mean?" Oikawa asked, tilting his head. 

"You need to get out of the house, play some volleyball. Do something to get your mind off of L/n." 

"But Iwa-chan I'm finally realizing, the glass is always half empty when N/n-chan isn't happy. Even if her happiness doesn't come from me...I think I'll be okay." 

Iwaizumi was shocked, he never expected Oikawa to actually reach a period of acceptance. "Oikawa you're probably just...in your head right now. You'll feel differently in the morning." 

"Iwa-chan I'm serious. The only thing I should've cared about in the first place is N/n-chan's happiness. It's like you said Iwa....it's all that matters." Oikawa was smiling, but it was a wistful smile. 

"I'm calling L/n. You're sick." Iwaizumi said, picking up his phone. 

Oikawa hopped up, "Don't call N/n-chan! She's on a date right now! Don't ruin that because of me." He tried to wrestle the phone out of Iwaizumi's hand. 

"Oikawa you're seriously not okay right now. I think your mental health is a little more important than L/n's date. Trust me, she'll understand once she...." A realization hit Iwaizumi. "She thinks you've been like this all along. She doesn't know how you feel. You both are seriously so dense." 

Oikawa smiled, "It's best if she doesn't know anyways, it'll only cause her pain." 

"I'm going for a run." Iwaizumi said, getting up and grabbing a jacket. 

"Okay. I'll make dinner while you're gone Iwa-chan." Oikawa said, getting up and heading to the kitchen. 

As soon as Iwaizumi was out of the door he started dialing your number. He had to think of a way to fix Oikawa. He didn't know how Oikawa's plan to break up you and Shohei would've worked in the first place. But he also knew that neither of you would be truly happy if you were apart.


	8. Conflict

You got the call from Iwaizumi when you were in the middle of your date with Shohei. You thought you'd told both him and Oikawa that you were going on a date with Shohei, so if Iwaizumi was calling it had to be an emergency. In any case, you'd better check. You excused yourself and stepped away into the bathroom to answer the call. 

"You picked up!" Iwaizumi said, "Thank the Universe. Okay. I know you're on a date with Kobayashi right now, but I really need to talk to you. How soon can you meet me?" 

"Uh I don't know is something wrong?" You asked. 

"No. Well....sort of. I-it's difficult to explain. Just....please meet me in an hour at the playground about a mile and a half from my house." 

"Okay..." You said unsure and iwaizumi hung up. You slipped your phone back into your pocket and went back out to Shohei. "Hey...I'm really sorry about that. Iwaizumi called, he said that something's wrong and he needs to meet me." 

Shohei didn't look too happy about that, he still seemed to think that Oikawa was in love with you. "Are you going?" 

You nodded, looking guilty, "I'm really sorry but Iwaizumi wouldn't call me unless it was an emergency." 

"Okay." He said, but he looked unsure. 

You kissed his cheek, "Thank you." Then you left. 

You were at the park in 45 minutes, Iwaizumi was already sitting on a swing. He was on his phone. You walked over and sat beside him, he looked up. "Oh! You're early." He slid the phone into the pocket of his hoodie. 

"Yeah...so what's the difficult to explain emergency?" You asked. 

Iwaizumi took a breath. He'd had a lot of time to think about what he was going to say and he decided to just go with something close to the truth but still vague. You and Oikawa were both blind when it came to feelings, so you probably wouldn't see through it. "Say you had these two friends..." 

"You called me out of a date with Shohei to play hypotheticals? Really, Iwaizumi?" You asked, a little annoyed. 

"No please. It's important I promise." 

"Fine go on." You said, swinging slightly. 

"Okay so, you have these two friends. They both like each other but they were oblivious to each other's feelings. Then one of them gets engaged, but you're pretty sure that you're pretty sure that your two friends were supposed to be together. So then your other friend comes up with a plan to break up your friend with their fiance but ends up getting up because they want the other to be happy but it's not in that friend's personality at all. What would you do if you were the friend in the middle?" He asked. 

You looked at him, confused. Whatever he had just said went way over your head. "What?" You asked. 

Iwaizumi sighed, "Should he confess to the one that is engaged or just let them go on with the wedding even though they might not be the happiest that they could be?" 

"So what you're saying is the one that is engaged...still has feelings for the other friend but gave up on them?" You asked skeptically. 

"Yes!" Iwaizumi exclaimed. "Yes...but I think they're pushing away their feelings." 

"Tell them to tell the truth. That's the only way to get everything out of the way. And if it turns out that friend does have feelings for them even though they're engaged then....they'll have to be honest with their fiance too right?" You asked. 

"Right! So I should just make my friend confess?" Iwaizumi asked, looking happy. 

"That sounds like a solid plan....is this really happening to you Iwaizumi?" You asked, something wasn't adding up. "Do you have another friend who's getting engaged?" 

"Well...something like that." Iwaizumi stood up. "Anyways thanks L/n-san. Can I get you a coffee for your troubles?" 

"Since I don't have anything better to do anymore I suppose so." You said with a still annoyed glare. 

This weekend would be your bachelorette party. Although Oikawa and Iwaizumi had been invited to Shohei's bachelor party so they weren't coming. Instead you'd be having it with your friends and Shohei's sister....not to mention you had to plan this one all yourself.


	9. It Could've Been You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I listened to this little playlist on youtube: sad songs// WARNING! These songs will make you cry by XDCo. If you'd like to...

When Iwaizumi gave Oikawa your advice, he didn't believe him. "Oikawa I'm serious. I was just with L/n-san and she said that you should just tell her the truth." 

"Did you ever bring up my name?" Oikawa asked with eyebrows raised. He'd made dinner and they were sitting across from each other. 

"Well no..." 

"She probably didn't think you were talking about us. That means it wasn't advice for our situation. It's completely different." Oikawa argued. 

"StupidKawa I told her the exact situation just without names." 

Oikawa sighed, "That's just your account of the situation. It's more complicated than that." 

"Whatever. I think you should at least tell her the truth. And that means the whole truth. Like how you want her to be happy. Make sure to include that." Iwaizumi prompted. 

"Iwa-chan, if I tell her the whole truth then that means the plan to break up her and Kobayashi. That'll ruin our friendship." 

"Maybe leave that part out..." 

Oikawa shook his head, "No Iwa-chan. It's going to stay the same either way. The only thing that will happen if I tell her is that there's a chance we won't be friends anymore." Oikawa got up from his seat, "Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to bed early. I'm gonna help N/n-chan pick out a wedding dress tomorrow." 

Iwaizumi watched him go with a sorrowful look. Would Oikawa really be able to keep his feelings to himself?  
~~~

The next morning, you got up early and started getting ready to go. Oikawa picked you up at 10. "Did you have breakfast or should we go out? There's a cute coffee shop by the dress place." 

You smiled, "You really have everything together don't you?" 

Oikawa smiled and nodded, "Of course. And thanks for bringing me along to help." 

You stared at the side of his face as he started driving. Once again you were overwhelmed with that sense that it could've been him. You think that if it were the two of you who were getting married, he'd probably still want to help pick out your dress. That was something Shohei hadn't wanted to be a part of. Oikawa would still want to plan the whole wedding with you. It would be a lot like the way it is right now. You felt guilty for picturing yourself with him, for cycling back into that part of your life. But you convinced yourself it was just habit and shook yourself out of it. 

When you got to the dress shop, Oikawa was the one practically dragging you in. You showed off multiple beautiful dresses, Oikawa thought you looked gorgeous in all of them. His cheeks permanently dusted pink at seeing you in them. His heart swelled at the fact he was the first one to see you in it. And the fact that you were smiling at him. He felt it rising in his chest again, that feeling of wanting to be with you. He tried to shove it down and suppress it but found it more difficult to do than to think about doing. At one point, you heard the faint playing of a radio. The two of you were the only ones in the shop aside from the store workers. The radio was playing your song. Oikawa met your eyes and requested they turn up the music. You laughed as he danced with you, you were in one of the dresses. Both of you liked it a lot, but you knew it wasn't one that Shohei would have agreed to. It was a bit revealing and Shohei tended to be a little possessive. Oikawa told you that if you wanted to, you should buy it and to dress how you wanted. But you knew it was Shohei's wedding too and you should compromise with him. 

Oikawa convinced you to put that dress on hold, but you decided on another one indefinitely by just after midday. Oikawa then took you out for lunch. As he watched you talking about the job that you'd recently gotten his heart pounded. He loved watching you talk about something that you loved. He loved sitting with you here, having lunch. He loved the way your hair fell and the way your eyes shone in the light. Everything that he loved about you was bubbling to the surface and he felt like he would pop. You noticed he didn't seem to be paying attention and waved your hand in front of his face. "Hey! You okay?" 

"Oh yeah...." He paused, "I have a question N/n-chan." 

"Shoot!" You said happily, drinking some of your drink. 

"Do you think it could've been us?" He asked. 

You nearly choked, his question shocked you. "Oikawa wha-" 

"I know. I know it's selfish. I shouldn't have even said it." He laughed awkwardly, "Sorry just forget about it." 

You waited a moment, looking out of the window, "Yes." You answered quietly. 

Oikawa snapped his attention to you, "What?" 

You drew your eyes back to his, "I think it could've been." 

Oikawa was overwhelmed with happiness, his heart beating quickly he took your hands, "Let's be together Y/n." 

You were taken aback by this, "Huh?" 

"Do I make you happy?" He asked, his eyes searching yours. 

"Well I...yes of course but-" 

"Then that's all that matters. Let's be happy together N/n-chan. Because you make me happy too. I don't want to be without you and it makes me jealous when you're with him. Because I think it's supposed to be us. I can't stop seeing it...I can't stop seeing us together." He said. 

You pulled your hands out of his, "Oikawa this-" You closed your eyes, "Stop it." 

"What? But N/n-chan I-" 

"Stop! You don't..." You bit your lip to stop yourself from letting out a sob, "You don't like me like that." 

"N/n-chan that's not true. I do." He argued. 

"No you don't." You opened your eyes and felt like crying when you saw his. The joy from a couple of seconds ago slowly breaking in his face. "You're just being selfish." 

"But you said you were happy with me." 

"Oikawa why are you saying this now? You could have said it when I wasn't about to get married to someone else!" You said, your voice breaking as tears started streaming down your face. "You don't love me. You just want me for yourself. You just want to screw with my feelings just like you always do." 

"That's not true." You started to get up and leave the shop, outside it was cloudy. Oikawa grabbed your wrist, "I love you Y/n! I love you! I love you! I love you!" There were tears falling down his face too, "I'll say however many times you want...just don't marry him please. Just give me a chance." 

You pulled your hand away gently, "You already had your chance." You looked into his broken eyes before walking briskly out of the sandwich shop. You didn't want to call Shohei to pick you up, so you walked in the cold air. You found yourself going faster until you were running away, tears streaming down your face. Thunder and lightning cracked loudly across the sky and rain started pouring down. You kept running until you slipped and fell right in front of the playground you were at with Iwaizumi the other day. You didn't get up, you pulled your legs up to your chest, your knees were bleeding but you didn't care. The tears fell from your face and sobs errupted from your mouth. You sat on the wet cement, you couldn't tell what on your face was rain and what was tears. You don't know how long you stayed there.  
~~~

Oikawa was in the cafe for only a couple more minutes, a few tears streaming down his face until he wiped them off and looked around before paying and getting in the car. When the thunder and lightning struck he couldn't hold back his tears. His vision was blurred but he didn't stop driving, he had no idea where he was going. He just had to drive. He ignored several calls from Iwaizumi and played a song so loudly that the car nearly shook. Eventually, Oikawa pulled over and saw all of Iwaizumi's calls. Upon seeing them he realized you probably weren't going home immediately either. He dialed Iwaizumi's number and called him. 

"Dude! Why haven't you been picking up any of my calls? Are you still with L/n? It's raining y'know." 

"Yeah yeah I know Iwa-chan...I'm- we...will you just check on L/n for me?" He asked. 

"You're not with her?" Iwaizumi asked. 

"No. She probably has the location on her phone turned on. Could you make sure she's okay please?" Oikawa's voice was quiet and small enough for Iwaizumi not to question it. 

"Okay." 

"Okay." Oikawa hung up and rested his head on the seat. 

Iwaizumi got up, grabbed his coat and went to go pick you up from the park. All the while thinking about how much he should not have to be taking care of two adults like this. He drove over and saw you now sitting on the swing. It was still raining so you couldn't hear him call to you over the rain. He got out, putting up an umbrella and walking over to you. 

You looked up when you saw him, "Iwaizumi?" 

He nodded his head toward the car, you dragged your feet on the ground and followed him over. If only because you were too emotionally drained to disagree. Once you were in the car, Iwaizumi turned down the radio and started taking the long way home. "So...do you wanna explain why you were sitting on a swing soaked in the rain?" 

"I didn't know you meant us...when I told you that they should tell the truth." You said. 

"But would you still have said the same thing if you knew?" He asked. 

"No. It's more complicated than that." You said, staring straight ahead at the wind shield wipers. 

"Oh really how so?" 

You didn't even turn, "Because Oikawa doesn't love me." 

"Yes he does." 

This time you did look at him, "No he doesn't. He just wants my attention." 

"L/n do you really think that?" Iwaizumi asked, glancing at you. 

"Yes. That's how its always been." You searched Iwaizumi's face. 

Iwaizumi shook his head, "To be honest I would've thought the same thing if I didn't see him the other day." He parked on the side of the road by your house. 

"The other day?" 

So Iwaizumi told you the whole story. About Oikawa wanting to break up you and Shohei and about how he was ready to give you up. Your head was spinning, this was too much all at once. There was a moment of silence when Iwaizumi finished. 

"Iwaizumi I don't-" 

"It's fine L/n-san. If you'd rather be with Kobayashi, Oikawa and I will both respect that. Just thought you should know the whole story." Iwaizumi gave you a sad smile and you got out of his car. He waited for you to cross the street before driving away. Instead of going into the house you shared with Shohei, you took your car and started the long drive to your parents' house.


	10. The Mark You Left

The moment you got home, your parents bombarded you with questions. To your surprise, it was your sister who told them to let you breathe. Your brother got you a warm drink and they let you sit in the living room. You could feel all of their eyes on you, you could feel their anxiety. After a couple of minutes your mother could no longer take it, "Did something go wrong between you and Kobayashi-kun?" She still wasn't calling him by his first name, it had been a year and a half since they met. 

"Not yet." You said, sipping your drink. 

"Why do you seem so down?" Your father asked. 

"Guys..." Your sister started to warn. 

"No it's fine S/n...I can't just come here and give no explanation.You looked up but didn't meet any of their eyes, "It's Oikawa." 

"Tooru-kun? Did something happen to him?" Your mother asked with concern. 

"No...it's just that he asked me a strange question and one thing led to another and I think....we might not be even friends any more." They asked for a clearer explanation which you gave, part way through you broke down but by then they could guess where it was going. 

After letting you cry for a bit, your mother bluntly asked, "So you're breaking up with Kobayashi-kun then?" 

"Mom!" You said. 

"I'm sorry sweetie...it's just that," She exchanged a glance with your father, "I think we all agree that you shouldn't marry him right away when you still have feelings for Tooru-kun." 

"I- I don't! I'm over Oikawa." You insisted, but you knew the battle you were picking was the wrong one. You had finally been able to _**subdue**_ your feelings for Oikawa. But you weren't able to eliminate them completely. As you tried to deny it you realized how wrong it felt. "I thought I was..." 

"None of us wanted to tell you." Your mother said, "We thought you'd figure it out on your own." 

You looked between all of them and they all had guilty looks. "S-so...I made a mistake by rejecting Oikawa like that..." 

"No." Your sister said and you met eyes with her, "You did the right thing. You did what anyone would've done in your situation. Besides, if Oikawa didn't know his feelings then it was wrong of him to try and get you out of your engagement." 

This only confused you more as your family broke into an argument about whether it was right or wrong. "Guys. Guys!" They stopped and looked at you, "I need to sleep. Maybe sleeping on all of this will help me figure things out."   
~~~

Oikawa came home after Iwaizumi had told him that you were dropped off safe at yours and Shohei's place. Iwaizumi welcomed him in with a hug, which on any other day Oikawa might have teased him about since Iwaizumi tended to not be the touchy-feely type. But he needed it and Iwaizumi knew that. Afterwards, Oikawa wanted to watch tragedies and eat ice cream, Iwaizumi let him do it and stayed beside him like the best friend ever. At around midnight Iwaizumi finally really spoke, "Do you regret it?" He asked. 

Oikawa looked over and shook his head, his eyes were puffy and red. It was clear he'd been crying for a long time. "No. Weirdly enough I feel relieved." He laughed, "But I really don't wanna lose her. I don't know what I was expecting. The only thing I regret is the way I did it. I kind of threw it all on her, I should've confessed better." 

Iwaizumi nodded, "So I guess I don't have to apologize for the advice?" 

"Of course not Iwa-chan. After all it was probably bound to happen at some point. You know how bad I am at holding back." Oikawa said with a tired smile. 

"Alright go to sleep you loser." 

"Good night Iwa-chan." 

"Good night ShittyKawa."   
~~~

The next morning you didn't feel much better. You didn't feel like getting out of bed but you were the first one up due to not being able to sleep well. After about an hour of laying in bed deciding whether or not it was worth it to get up, you swung your legs over the side of the bed and went to get a cup of coffee. No one was awake and the house was still and quiet, after you got your coffee you checked your phone. 7 missed calls and a string of missed texts. Shohei. You hadn't texted, called or seen him since yesterday morning. He was probably worried. You flinched at what you would have to do. You hated yourself for bringing him pain. Shohei really was a great guy besides being a little protective. 

You texted him one short sentence: "At my parents house, I'll talk to you in a bit" You knew it was short and it wouldn't stop him from worrying. But you also had no idea what else to say. Your brother was up and you heard him leave for work. You got in the shower and got yourself ready for the day. You'd have to tell Shohei you couldn't marry him. Not when you weren't 100% sure he was your person. Funny, how things can change completely in just a day. As soon as you were ready you heard the doorbell ring. Since your parents were gone to work and your sister was still asleep you went to open the door. 

Standing there with a worried expression was Shohei. "Y/n! You're okay!" He enveloped you in a crushing hug. 

Surprised and confused, you didn't hug him back. "Shohei? What are you doing here?" 

"I came to check on you! You didn't answer any of my calls and you only texted me that short sentence! I was really worried Y/n." He said into your ear, pulling back and holding your face to look at you. 

"I- I'm sorry." You said, still in shock. 

He breathed, "It's okay. You're safe." He hugged you again, "That's all that matters." 

"What did you think happened to me?" You asked. 

"The worst things possible." He said. He finally let you go, "Can I come in?" 

"Uh, sure..." You opened the door fully and let him in. 

"Is anyone else here?" He asked, sitting on the couch. 

"Just my sister. The others already left for work." You explained. 

"I see....why did you come here?" Now came the time to tell him what you were dreading to tell him. 

You couldn't look up, couldn't meet his gaze. "I'm having doubts." 

He waited for you to explain, when you didn't he asked "Why?" 

You bit your lip, you'd practiced this last night and this morning, but it wouldn't come. "I don't know." Your voice broke, "Maybe it's because I'm not ready. Or maybe it's...." You faced the truth, "Because it's not with the right person." 

"What....what makes you think that?" He asked, it was clear he was trying to hold back whatever he was feeling. Sadness, loss, fear, anger. 

"I love him..." You said quietly but just loud enough so that Shohei could hear. 

"Oikawa." He said. 

You could only nod, tears forming in your eyes again, "I'm sorry." You whispered. 

You heard Shohei stand up and start walking to the door. You didn't stop him as he left, when the door slammed the house shook a bit. Your sister came back and gave you a blanket and a warm drink.   
~~~

Oikawa strangely, had a good night's sleep. He got up made breakfast, Iwaizumi left for work early but left Oikawa a note to call him if anything happened. Although he had slept well, Oikawa still felt lazy as hell. He remembered what you would tell him when he was feeling depressed; go do things for yourself. So that's exactly what he did, he took a shower, did his hair for about an hour and bought himself his favorite lunch (mlikbread ofc). At around 2 p.m. there was a knock on the door. "Iwa-chan~ You're home early." Oikawa called, getting up to open the door. 

The person at the door was not Iwaizumi. It was Shohei. He stood there, his broad shoulder filling up most of the doorway. Oikawa was a little bit intimidated and felt guilty in your fiance's presence. "Oh uh...Kobayashi-san right? Look...I'm really sorry about the other-" 

Before Oikawa could finish his sentence, he was hit squarely in the face by Shohei's fist. He jumped back with a whimper, holding his now bleeding nose. "Sorry." Shohei apologized. "I just had to do that once." 

"Understandable." Oikawa said, "But did you have to go for the nose?" He whined. 

"She loves you." Shohei said and Oikawa looked up. 

"What?" They looked into each other's eyes. Shohei gave no explanation and was about to walk away. Oikawa called out again, "What do you mean? Yesterday she...she said I already had my chance." Remembering your exact words, suddenly Oikawa felt like falling back into a depressive state. 

"Doesn't love deserve more than one chance?" Shohei asked. Oikawa's head was spinning, something had to have happened. Did you tell 

As he was about to turn away again, Oikawa extended a hand. Shohei looked down at the hand and shook it with a nod. "I wish you luck in the world of love." Oikawa said. 

"Same to you. I wish you and Y/n luck. I think you belong together." Shohei had a pained expression on his face, but there was sincerity in his eyes. 

He left and Oikawa called Iwaizumi to leave him a message. He was going to see you.


	11. Memories

Oikawa got in the car and started the drive to your house. Since he still had no idea you were at your parents house, he first went to yours and Shohei's previous place. When he saw no cars there he figured you were probably there. He called you, but you didn't pick up. He arrived at your parents house went the sun was setting. Your sister directed him to a specific park that you and him used to always go to in high school. It was the prettiest in Autumn when the leaves were changing. 

_**~Almost 10 years ago~** _

Both you and Oikawa went to this place for peace. Whenever you were feeling particularly upset, it was your safe place. It was also a place that you would know each other would be at. Oikawa was having a tough time since he and Iwaizumi had gotten into a fight. You ran from your house over there when you noticed he wasn't answering your texts. Just as you'd presumed; he was sitting underneath a tree, his knees pulled up to his chest. You walked over and stood above him, "Oikawa?" 

He heard your voice and looked up, teary eyed. "N/n-chan..." He said sadly. 

You sat beside him, "You can talk if you want to. But you don't have to." 

He put his head on your shoulder and hugged you, "Can we just stay like this?" 

With his face buried in your neck, he missed your red face. "Mhm." You said, hugging him back. You stayed in an embrace for about 15 minutes. 

When he finally pulled away he looked at your eyes, "N/n-chan will you always be there for me?" 

"What kind of a question is that? Of course I'll always be there for you." You said, ruffling his hair. 

"Hey not the hair!"  
~~~

Oikawa remembered this moment fondly as he drove to find you. He remembered the beating of his heart when he was hugging you. He thought you could hear it, it was so loud to him. How did he not recognize his feelings earlier? If he had, maybe he wouldn't have had to put you through all of this trouble. In fact, there were many instances that he should've noticed. 

_**~8 years ago~** _

Oikawa knocked on the door to your room, you'd went straight home after school without even waiting to walk with him and he was suspicious. After asking one of your girl friends about it, he rushed to find you. He asked your parents where you were and they immediately let him in and led him to your room hoping he could talk some sense to you. He knocked lightly, "N/n-chan?" 

"Go away." You said, your voice weepy. 

"N/n-chan that's rude." He said.

"Oikawa?" You asked with a sniffle. 

"What's wrong N/n-chan? Isn't the dance tomorrow?" He asked, trying to get the truth from you. 

"I'm not going." You said. 

"What?" He asked. 

"I said I'm not going!" You said louder, letting out a sob. 

"But N/n-chan why?" He was leaning his ear on the door in order to hear you better. You were on the other side of the door, curled up in a ball with your back against it. 

"I can't go. It's too embarrassing." You said sadly. 

"You were looking forward to it. Why can't you go?" He asked, concern laced through his voice. 

"Because he doesn't want to go with me anymore." Oikawa immediately knew who you were talking about, the boy who had asked you to the dance and apparently dumped you the day before. 

"N/n-chan can I come in?" You stood up and unlocked the door, Oikawa opened it and saw you. He walked swiftly over and held you in his arms. You gripped onto his shirt and cried into his chest. This last year he had grown significantly taller than you. His hand combed through your hair soothingly. "You know what you should do N/n-chan?" 

"Hmm?" You asked, calming down as you breathed in his scent. Oikawa tended to like very expensive colognes and wore them pretty much all the time. 

"You should go there. In that gorgeous dress that I helped pick out." He just had to flaunt that, "Do your hair all nice and go. Because you deserve to have a good time. Show him that you don't need him." 

You looked up at Oikawa and he was smiling down at you. You sniffed, "But look at me Oikawa...I look horrible." 

Oikawa knit his eyebrows in confusion, he put both his hands on your face and used his thumbs to brush away your tears, you blushed lightly. "No...You never look horrible Y/n. You are always stunning. You could go to that dance in pjs and clown make up and everyone would still think you're gorgeous." 

If it wasn't already, your face would have turned completely red, "Oikawa...will you go to the dance with me please?" You asked, looking at the floor. 

"Of course!" He said enthusiastically. "Going with friends is way more fun anyways."  
~~~

He flinched, remembering how he'd totally friend-zoned you that day. He hadn't meant to...it was just that he hadn't even thought of it any other way. But to be honest with himself, when the other boy had asked you, he'd been jealous. Now that he could identify that feeling as jealousy. The roaring in his chest. He hated feeling it, and although it was rare, it happened to even Oikawa. He stopped at the park and started running to try and find you, calling your name. 

_**~4 years ago~** _

It was Oikawa's 21st birthday. His current volleyball team and his old high school team along with you were invited. All of you got drunk as hell except for Iwaizumi who was the designated driver for most of you. You were planning to call a cab since you couldn't be in a car with a bunch of these drunk boys. You had just finished dancing, since your feet were starting to hurt and you hadn't even realized you had plopped into the seat beside Oikawa. "N/n-chan~" He said, drawing out the 'chan'. 

"Oh!" You said and turned, for some reason your filter completely comes off when drunk. "Tooru-kun." Oikawa's whole face turned red upon hearing you say his name. But you didn't stop, you traced your finger along his chin, "You're so pretty Tooru-kun~" 

"U-uh N/n-chan?" He asked. 

You grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him into your lips. He was surprised and it took a minute for him to kiss you back, one of his hands going to your neck and the other to your waist. When you pulled away and opened your eyes, you had gained a bit of self awareness. You released his shirt and sat back, he did the same and you both looked anywhere but at each other's faces. "Uh...I'm gonna call my cab." You said. "Happy birthday Oikawa." 

He could barely nod. The next morning you called him to apologize and to promise that you would never speak of that again.  
~~~

Oikawa could never forget that day. The thought of the kiss hadn't left his head for a month, and even after that it still edged it's way into his thoughts. He spotted you at the bridge, you had crackers that you were tossing down to the ducks. You had a scarf wrapped around your neck and a cute Autumn outfit. The leaves swirled around you, the sun setting the same color. It was a beautiful scene. Oikawa, who appreciated beauty, took a picture of you. A lot of the photos in his phone actually consisted of you. He liked to take them when you didn't know you were just standing there being gorgeous. He looked back through them whenever he felt upset and they cheered him up. Iwaizumi had called him a stalker. But Oikawa defended himself saying that he didn't take them in secret and he'd show you if you asked...not that you would know. 

You looked over at him just as he snapped the picture, making it even more gorgeous. "Oikawa?" You asked. 

He slipped the phone into his pocket and jogged over to you, "N/n-chan! I found you!" 

You smiled a little bit at him and held up a bag of crackers, "Do you want to toss to the ducks?" 

He smiled back at you and grabbed the bag. After you ran out of crackers you sat together on a bench and watched the remainder of the sunset. It was a peaceful silence, but filled with unfinished sentences and questions. "I broke up with Shohei." You said. 

"I know." Oikawa told you and you looked over at him, you had noticed the bandage over his nose but you didn't question it. Now you could put two and two together. 

"Did he-" 

"Yeah. But it's okay." Oikawa hurried with a smile. "I deserve it to be honest." 

You tilted your head, "Why?" 

"Because...I shouldn't have waited so long to tell you how I feel. And I shouldn't have forced it all on you. I definitely shouldn't have put so much stress on Iwa-chan..." His eyebrows knotted in concentration, "I should probably apologize to Iwa-chan. And buy him a present for having to deal with me." 

You laughed, throwing your head back and Oikawa's heart fluttered. You looked over with a familiar light blush and smile on your face, "Thank you Oikawa." 

He tilted his head, "What for?" 

"For sticking with me. And for telling me...I could be living the wrong life right now but this," You breathed in the night air, "This just feels so right. It always has. When i'm with you everything just clicks." 

"When I'm with you everything sparkles." Oikawa said, looking at your eyes. 

You blushed, "I love you Tooru-kun." You said, looking right into his eyes. 

He put a hand on your cheek and pulled you in to kiss him. It was sweet and perfect and you felt like a thousand sparklers were going off in your body. When he pulled away he pressed your foreheads together, "I love you too Y/n-chan. Forever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the final part! I hope you enjoyed reading this. Thank you for your comments that keep me going :) have a fantastic day or night!!


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